As you might know, in the AEGIS system we use 25 elemental laws to guide us in getting the best out of our lives. These laws apply in both combat specifically and life generally and if you know what they are it gives you a greater understanding of how life works and how you can make it work better. One law that often comes to my mind is the law of expectation.
The AEGIS law of expectation says ‘you don’t get what you want or wish for, you only get what you confidently expect’. The question is – ‘what do you expect?’ do you expect the best or the worst? Think about it because we humans basically, have only 2 motivations – to move toward what we want and away from what we don’t want. This is why people get fat – they move toward chocolate and cake and away from salad and fruit. It’s the same with physical fitness – we can move toward it, which is difficult now but reaps benefits later or, we can avoid it, which is easy now but causes problems later as our bodies deteriorate, unable to fight the diseases that come as we age.
So back to the question – ‘what do you expect?’ and why do you expect it? do you expect the worst because that’s your conditioned state? You always feel things go bad so they do or do you always expect the best and seem to get it? it’s all about your perception – like the glass half full or half empty – it’s how you perceive it to be that matters. So if this is true; why don’t we condition ourselves to look for the best in a situation rather than the worst? It’s like worrying – I know people who worry about everything because they think by doing so they are less likely to be disappointed and upset when it does go wrong and they get a nice surprise if it doesn’t. But this means you have all the pain of worry and distress and then an outcome which you might or might not be right about anyway. Why not instead, NOT worry and then you’ll get the same outcome anyway but without the stress and pain of worrying about it beforehand?
Another way to look at it; if you think the worst will happen, how hard will you try to avert that outcome? Why try to avoid the inevitable? It’s like braking to avoid a collision when driving your car: do you think ‘there’s no point’ or ‘hit the brakes to save yourself being hurt?’ of course you brake, it’s natural to try to survive, it’s a physical response that’s built into us. Yet in life we create these scenario’s which are almost infantile in their nonsensical simplicity, that if we expect the worst, then we won’t be disappointed. But this is no way to live your life – this is just pain and hurt – no wonder so many people walk around looking miserable and carrying pained expressions, it’s become their defence mechanism for dealing with life.
For me, I was that way, sometimes at least – I used these same strategies, like don’t ask the girl out because she might say no and that would hurt my feelings, or don’t compete in that game because if I lose I will beat myself up too much about it. I decided instead on two things;
1. expect the best from every situation
2. care less if I don’t get it
This makes life so much easier. In fact, I know that if I don’t get something I really want that I might hurt for an hour or so, but after that I’ll turn the thing around and see a new opportunity instead. Many of the things I have really wanted in life that I didn’t get turned out to be blessings in disguise. So now if I don’t get what I want I think to myself ‘well, something better is probably lined up for me instead’.
Another way to look at it is to consider the worst thing that happened to you, at least at the time, and consider how you feel or felt two weeks later. It’s over and gone and its importance is so much less so why put all the worry into it in the first place?
For me, I’m going to expect the best from every situation – not, what if it goes wrong, but what if it goes right? And if I don’t get what I want I expect, then I expect that something better will come along shortly. I decided to think that life has good things in store for me and sometimes I can’t always see what that is, and that’s why I will get disappointed if I miss out, but when I look back, it will be for the best, in the longer term, that I didn’t get it.
So, try it, – invoke the law of expectation in its most positive form – expect the best and take action toward it like it’s bound to happen. If you don’t get it, think to yourself, great, something better is on its way’. This way you can’t lose, either way you get what you want.
‘You only get what you confidently expect’ so expect the best and that is what you’ll get.
Have a great day, have an AEGIS day